A week ago Chris and I were sleeping quietly in our bed when the door opened and in popped a little person, arms stretched wide, waiting to join us under the warmth of our covers. Scarlett learned how to climb. For the following week, Scarlett would waddle out of her room after naps and in the morning, hair disheveled and proclaim "I woke up".
It was time to make the upgrade from crib to big girl bed. We explained to Scarlett what we were doing and she said "big bed, like mommy and daddy" and for the first two nights she slept, just like mommy and daddy, but then something changed. The novelty wore off. Big beds were no longer fun and exciting they were a jail in which escape was imminent. I would pick her up, lay her down, sing a song, rub her back, calm her crying but the moment she sensed my quiet escape...queue the screaming, whining and quick rushes to the nearest bed time exit. We would start the cycle again until 45 minutes later and numerous requests of "mommy sleep with me" ensued she would finally fall asleep.
This worked for one night but unfortunately this is a habit that I do not want to start. I know that she will expect me to lay down next to her every night, to let her wrap her tiny arm around my neck and slide her fingers through my hair until her breathing gives me the rhythmic cue of sleep. The hardest part is fighting the mother in me that wants to spend these precious moments with my daughter. To hear her say "mommy sleep with me", to feel her breath slowly rise and fall against my forehead, these are the moments I will remember and she will forget. These are the moments I will hold on to when I look at her and realize she is no longer my baby. But these are also the moments that make me a parent. The internal fight between what is easy and what is best for Scarlett. The fight between teaching a lesson and molding her into a respectful child and future adult or giving her everything that she wants.
So tonight I will put on my "this is what is best" hat and talk Scarlett through this big girl transition...let the games begin.
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